(Note to BloggerKuwait – please read this post, I’m hoping you can help me translate the Arabic <3)
“Never lose hope, my heart, miracles dwell in the invisible.” – Rumi
On my way home from work today, I began thinking about my lack of motivation. I work for an incredible organisation, I like the people there but I’ve noticed that I’ve slowed down. My productivity has plummeted and it just isn’t me to be like this. Work offers a great distraction from this journey when I’m there and involved but a voice inside me keep whispering ‘I don’t want to be here staring at this screen. I want to look into my child’s eyes instead.’ I need to work – for myself and for my marriage – giving up isn’t a solution or an option.
There is no ignoring the fact that on most days I walk around with a heavy heart. I just hope one day I move beyond this and truly find a way to free myself.
When I stepped into my home, I did my routine check for post and inside I was sighing because I haven’t received an appointment yet. My whole life seems to be about waiting and persevering. It was then I noticed a green envelope from Canada.
I opened the envelope to find a handwritten lyric sheet from Azam Ali. A while back, I donated to her music project on PledgeMusic by buying the music sheet package. I love her group (called Niyaz) but I’m not familiar with Azam Ali’s own music so I asked her to pick something beautiful. All of her music is beautiful, her voice is a tiny taste of heaven on earth so the request would have been easy.
She sent me ‘Eman (Faith)’ – a song I’m not familiar with but the word ‘faith’ hit me. Tomorrow the holy month of Ramadhan starts and it served as a reminder that I need to hold onto faith. I need to have faith that whatever the outcome is, everything will be ok. That I will be ok and that I will move beyond this. I find it so incredibly hard to hold onto faith.
I searched for the song and discovered something so very special. The song was a gift from her oud playing Palestinian friend, Naser Musa, for Azam Ali’s baby. In fact, the whole album was inspired by Azam Ali singing to her newborn son in the middle of the night. The album is like a series of Middle Eastern lullabies. I felt touched by something greater – as if the universe was listening.
Here’s the song (if you like Arabic) -
As I listened to the song, the tears flowed but they were tears of strength and gratitude that this gift arrived when it did.
Thank you, Azam.