I am laughing so much right now my insides hurt. I think I might borrow this one.
“5. Wait to post until April 1, when everyone will think it’s an April’s fools prank.
I’m totally doing this.
Then when everyone congratulates me, I’ll be like, “fooled you! I’m not pregnant, I’m infertile!” Now quick, everyone look away in discomfort and pretend you don’t know me. It might be catching.”