The infertile, the baby christening and aunt flow

Hot water bottle – a girl’s bestfriend

"Tea & Sympathy Please" Hot water bottle

Managed to get some errands done this morning but I’ve now crawled back into bed with a hot bottle. The cramps have kicked in but I don’t want to complain. Cramps make me feel as if something is actually happening in there. I noticed the cramps have returned to my cycles since when I added dark chocolate to my diet. I really do feel like it’s doing something.

Chocolate contains flavenoids, which have estrogen-like activity and help improve circulation by reducing platelet clumping, writes Dr Booth in The Venus Week. Flavenoids also enhance microcirculation in the ovaries and endocrine glands, and increase dopamine (a “feel good” hormone).

Source: The Adventurous Writer Blog

I feel pretty in tune with my body after dreaming that aunt flow was here and finding that she indeed did arrive in the morning. I just wish she did flow.. like really flow.. I haven’t had a normal period in forever now. I spent my teens cursing my period and now I miss it. It’s impossible not to become obsessive about the colour, texture and flow. To me it’s a reflection of how my reproductive system is feeling. Yet, the more I stress over it, the worse it gets. Argh!!

Still, there are small mercies in this. Aunt Flow’s arrived before a day before I have to face a two hour drive to a baby christening. Giving me time to ride out all the emotions she brings and get some rest.

Any baby related events are tough now but I want to be strong and I want to be able to celebrate my friend’s happiness. She knows about our struggle and was sweet enough to say I didn’t have to attend. I considered that, I was even close to cancelling last week but I need to do this.. to become stronger for myself.

So, just for today I will give myself (herbal) tea and sympathy.

I opened Pandora's box and infertility entered my life.

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Posted in Aunt Flow

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Oh, what a power is motherhood, possessing
A potent spell. All women alike
Fight fiercely for a child.

~ Euripides, Iphigenia in Aulis, c. 405 B.C.

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