Divorce – being despised by your brother’s wife .. fun!

I’ve done so well at not grieving or mourning over infertility but then despair crept into the house tonight disguised as my brother’s divorce. Sister-in-law is busy hating me right now. Hating me for speaking my mind and not taking her side 100%. I wasn’t even taking my brother’s side. I just stated relationships are a two way thing and for all the wrong he did to her, she made him pretty miserable too. Opinions.. are opinions. We all have them.

But as angry as I am at her for being angry at me, I’m even more sad because I suddenly realised I am nothing to her. She’s been in my life for twenty years. I adored her and looked up to her. Now, I don’t even recognise her. Maybe she feels that way about me.

Tonight, I am mourning that relationship. It’s been a year and I haven’t cried properly over this.. it just came flooding in tonight. I guess change happens. People float in and out.. I just didn’t think she’d be one of them.

Sad times.

I opened Pandora's box and infertility entered my life.

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Posted in Relationships + Family
5 comments on “Divorce – being despised by your brother’s wife .. fun!
  1. marwil says:

    Oh, I’m sorry your relationship is lost, it must be strange when you have seen her as family and now she’s gone.

  2. I hate lost relationships which are mostly over dumb things. You still grieve because you miss those good times you had. I hope you continue to move forward.

  3. Life is so short. It seems so pointless. I think it’s hit me more because she’s 15 years older than me, I grew up with her and so I’m a bit like ‘How can you just slam the door on me?’ The youngster in me is confused. She’s a lousy communicator so I don’t expect anything from her.

    My 20s seem to be all about letting go but letting go can suck. I hope you’re both well.

  4. Mali says:

    I really don’t think that you are “nothing to her.” I think she’s probably going through a huge amount of stuff, with all sorts of wild emotions, and some of those have turned into anger. If you really were nothing to her, she wouldn’t feel so strongly.

    I know it hurts though, and I’m really sorry for the loss of your relationship. Mourning relationships is necessary – I’ve been struggling with one myself.

    • Thanks for the wise words, Mali. I’ve been trying so hard not to carry any negative emotion with me. Just hard to pack a relationship like this away and it bites because it’s affected my relationship with my nephews and nieces. I need to let go though- I know that.

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