I’ve done so well at not grieving or mourning over infertility but then despair crept into the house tonight disguised as my brother’s divorce. Sister-in-law is busy hating me right now. Hating me for speaking my mind and not taking her side 100%. I wasn’t even taking my brother’s side. I just stated relationships are a two way thing and for all the wrong he did to her, she made him pretty miserable too. Opinions.. are opinions. We all have them.
But as angry as I am at her for being angry at me, I’m even more sad because I suddenly realised I am nothing to her. She’s been in my life for twenty years. I adored her and looked up to her. Now, I don’t even recognise her. Maybe she feels that way about me.
Tonight, I am mourning that relationship. It’s been a year and I haven’t cried properly over this.. it just came flooding in tonight. I guess change happens. People float in and out.. I just didn’t think she’d be one of them.