“You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.”
I’m at the acupuncturist, staring at the ceiling and thinking ‘I wish this whole baby making thing was easier.’ This is a pic of the ceiling, the fact the light looks like a full moon makes me smile.
I jinxed myself by thinking I’d kicked the cystitis aside. Then it hit me last night and I was up til 6am. I was so close to opening a box of antibiotics but I told myself I was stronger than that. It upsets me as I worry that as my body fights this, it’ll decide to reject any chance of conception. I just passed ovulation.
I don’t want to feel defeated already. I want my two weeks of blissful hope and daydreaming that finally life is stirring inside of me.
Pinlady just gave me a list of what not to eat. She explained that herbal tea for cystitis lessens chance of pregnancy, while the tea for the womb increases it. I feel confused and overwhelmed by the balancing act. Did I ruin my chances last night by drinking the cystitis tea?
“Stay positive. Stay positive. Your body will work a miracle.” That’s what I’m saying to myself now.
She also says I need to get my egg quality checked – with a scan not blood test. I didn’t know that it could be done with a scan. Any advice from you all would be appreciated. She also said to get tubes checked – I’ve been avoiding the dye. My GP won’t refer me until I’ve tried the course or metformin. Maybe I’ll have to go private for it. What did you do?
I need to get home, cruel (what a typo .. I mean crawl.. I guess that shows my state of mind) into bed and sleep.