Why can’t this be easier? #infertility

“You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.”

I’m at the acupuncturist, staring at the ceiling and thinking ‘I wish this whole baby making thing was easier.’ This is a pic of the ceiling, the fact the light looks like a full moon makes me smile.

Acupuncturist Ceiling

My weekly view.

I jinxed myself by thinking I’d kicked the cystitis aside. Then it hit me last night and I was up til 6am. I was so close to opening a box of antibiotics but I told myself I was stronger than that. It upsets me as I worry that as my body fights this, it’ll decide to reject any chance of conception. I just passed ovulation.

I don’t want to feel defeated already. I want my two weeks of blissful hope and daydreaming that finally life is stirring inside of me.

Pins on tummy

Pins on tummy.

Pinlady just gave me a list of what not to eat. She explained that herbal tea for cystitis lessens chance of pregnancy, while the tea for the womb increases it. I feel confused and overwhelmed by the balancing act. Did I ruin my chances last night by drinking the cystitis tea?

“Stay positive. Stay positive. Your body will work a miracle.” That’s what I’m saying to myself now.

She also says I need to get my egg quality checked – with a scan not blood test. I didn’t know that it could be done with a scan. Any advice from you all would be appreciated. She also said to get tubes checked – I’ve been avoiding the dye. My GP won’t refer me until I’ve tried the course or metformin. Maybe I’ll have to go private for it. What did you do?

I need to get home, cruel (what a typo .. I mean crawl.. I guess that shows my state of mind) into bed and sleep.

Cupping - acupuncture

Cupping flames

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I opened Pandora's box and infertility entered my life.

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Posted in Acupuncture + Chinese Medicine, Dr Trips + Medical
4 comments on “Why can’t this be easier? #infertility
  1. marwil says:

    Ugh, I’m sorry you are in pain, wonderful that you go for acupuncture though and that it is helping a bit. A scan can see if there is the expected activity in your ovaries around ovulation.. I think. When I had my baseline scan for the first IVF I was told they had expected it to be ‘more activity’ compared to my age and hormone levels. Other than that I don’t know how it can be checked easily.
    Is it impossible to push for a referral at this point? and have your husband been checked at all? Hope you feel better today.

    • Dr was pretty keen to get me on the metformin to help boost activity before referring me on – I don’t know if that’s just the standard path when you’re thought to be PCOS but without the symptoms.. and suddenly ovulating. I’m keen to try this naturally before I start taking meds (even though I’ve read cases where Metformin has resulted in pregnancy, I kinda want my body on form). I think I just want peace of mind on whether the activity is good. I’ll look into the baseline test.

      I looked at Zita West but the prices make my eyes wide. Husband is off to get checked again. He was last checked a year ago. I think he’s all good.

      Acupuncture has helped so much. I’m still suffering today but I think it’s my cold dehydrating me and not helping the situation.

  2. LisaB says:

    Ouch!! I really hope you feel better soon!

  3. Thank you, missy! Loved the quote ‘May the odds be ever in your favour!’ on your last blog post.

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Oh, what a power is motherhood, possessing
A potent spell. All women alike
Fight fiercely for a child.

~ Euripides, Iphigenia in Aulis, c. 405 B.C.

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