I see Thea every week for Bio Resonance, NAET therapy and general nutrition. When I feel the glass is half empty, she shows me that it is in fact half full. Over the last few weeks she’s said things that have really helped me work with my body, helped my relationship and just see the positives of this journey. What she said (above) about my body learning how to do this really resonated with me and I think it will with some others too. I lack patience. I’m not truly letting go and giving my body a real chance to heal.
After writing the last post today, I couldn’t keep the smile or my chin up. I broke down and I wept. Then I hated myself for it because I’ve been so strong. I am so sensitive to everything at the moment – Sufjan Steven’s To Be Alone With You started playing and then the tears were uncontrollable. They were made worse when I received a message from an old boss, saying he missed working with me and telling me to be great.
I felt anything but great.
I’m not out there changing the world.
I’m stuck driving along the infertility road and there’s no clear route to the desired destination.
After my session with Thea today I was utterly emotionally exhausted and she stressed that I need to find a way to get off the monthly rollercoaster.
That I need to find a new easy going project.
I need to pour my passion into something and create.
I need to shake off the numb layer that infertility has put on me.
I need to start feeling life in my veins again, the excitement and the buzz.
So, now the question is .. what?
I opened Pandora's box and infertility entered my life.
Sufjan will do that to you. Have you ever seen him live? Oh my god.
I’m sorry that you’re having a rough time at the moment but you can sense you need to create something – maybe just dabble in a few different things and something might stick. Even if it doesn’t fill the hole, these things do have the capacity to distract us for at least a little while. Positive vibes to you x