God shook me. He sent me back to work. I grumbled but said thank you for the blessing at the same time. Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve been trying not to slip into old habits – no tea, no skipping meals, taking all my supplements and even creating new habits like prayer and taking in my own lunch.
This is most definitely a period of change.
Work is challenging. I’m not sitting at my desk and twiddling my thumbs. I’m working hard again but I’m surprisingly happy. I know I’m going to hit periods of stress but I also know I am going to cope.
I feel protective of my health and sanity.
I found a new acupuncturist. A polish/french lady who reminds me of Thea. I feel like I now have two fairy godmothers in my life. I really believe they’ll keep me on track and help me manage this all. When I met the new pinlady, I wondered why I hadn’t made the switch sooner. She is attentive and her treatment room is inviting. No shoddy hospital like curtains and poor lighting like in the Chinese shop. Then I realised that everything really does happen in its own time.
I haven’t put my fertility journey on hold. I just want to swim with the tide now, not against it. Last month I found out the doctor decided to delay referring me to the fertility clinic, he wanted Mr.Husband to get tested first. This really upset me because we had agreed a month or so prior that he’d refer me first and then I could take Mr.Husband’s results with me. I was so frustrated by the waiting game that I cried.
Mr. Husband went for his tests but the hospital threw away his sperm sample instead of processing it. Yep. That isn’t a lie. They threw it out because apparently they don’t accept samples directly, it’s even crazier considering he called them before going there to give it. They didn’t even call him to tell him. Extra waiting, extra delay. I could go get checked out privately but something inside me is telling me to be patient. That this really is happening for a reason.
So I’m letting go. I’ll carry on with temp charting, peeing on ovulation sticks but I’m going to let go of the two week wait by not waiting.
A recent post by Infertility Awakening reminded me that my life needs to be full and rich without a baby. That’s what 2013 is going to be – full, rich, productive and playful.
Oh and New Years Resolution for this blog.. to include more pictures.