There’s something quite calming about watching snow drift down from the sky. It’s soft and purifies everything it falls on. The land becomes a blank canvas. I’m thankful for the snowy weekend and having the opportunity to stay snuggled up inside. We only see snow once a year, so eventually I wrapped up and went for a walk with Mr.Husband down the nature track. I’m so glad I live in a green part of the city.
Calming the tempest (aunt flow) before it hits
The walk, the snow and the calm was needed. In a week I’ll face my period and today when I spoke to God I asked him ‘Please let me find a way to cope with it. To be at peace with it. I don’t want to sink into sadness when the red appears. I want to trust you completely. I want to be able to focus on all the great things and not dwell on this one thing.’ I don’t want to be crying in the toilets at work or fighting tears on the train. I’ve been there way too many times.
There’s very little chance of being pregnant this month. I’m strangely glad for that in a way because there’s no ‘maybe I am? maybe I’m not?’ Timed sex does not agree with Mr.Husband. I wanted to shake God and say ‘Really? Do you really have to do this? Aren’t we struggling enough already?’ Then I let go. It felt good. This obviously isn’t meant to happen right now. I poured that energy into looking after myself and keeping up with work. That in turn paid off. Fertility struggle aside, I do feel so very happy.
Fixing the nursery – mind, body and soul
I signed up for a Photoshop course to distract myself. Building my skill set and learning something new, always makes me feel better. I’ve also started cooking more, I bought a cheap £3 Gluten Free Recipe Book from Amazon and slowly our diets are improving. I can’t keep completely gluten free but I’m taking baby steps towards it. We both feel better for it.
I signed up for yoga at work – hopefully that will start soon and it’ll be a great way to de-stress end of the week. I’m trying to find a way to work Aviva Method or fertility yoga (which is basically dynamic yoga that focuses on opening up the hip area) into my week. The only problem is that I like hot showers in the evening and Aviva Method advises that you don’t shower after to keep the heat the exercise generates. Also, it’s energising. Fitting the exercise into my busy morning isn’t so easy. I should note that the fertility yoga is a DVD and it’s not easy to keep up with. I fail at the whole exercise regime.
I tried Zita West’s hypnotherapy CD but I really can’t relax to it. She makes you move your hands from your belly button to another point and that movement makes me think. I’m too awake and conscious about it all.
Mr.Husband makes me a wheatgrass shot every night and he even taught me a way to take it down without tasting it. Hold your nose.. who knew?? Apparently it equates to 14 plates of salads and it’s super alkalizing. Baby or not – that can’t be a bad thing for my body. On top of that, I’ve added acidophillus into my diet. I read in a Zita West book that it stops cystitis bacteria from clinging to the walls. I always thought it was just taken as a probiotic, not that it actually combats other bacteria. Doh to me! I decided to try Chasteberry (Vitex) – does anyone else take that?
One. Day. At. A. Time.