Writing this while I wait to be seen by a gynaecologist. It’s a beautiful day, the hospital is creepily quiet and it’s the first time I’ve seen the car park empty. I’m reflecting on this journey, determined to believe that everything happens for a reason and that I’m becoming a better person because of it.
This morning I prayed that this appointment symbolises the beginning of the end of this journey. That soon I’ll be at peace with whatever the outcome is.
3O minutes later..
The consultant was wonderful. He said my GP did a great job and that he’s happy to push me through to the HSG. Apparently there are restrictions on just handing out the procedure and most GPs fail to get the basics done before referring on. Leaving couples frustrated when the consultant sends them off for blood tests. I owe my GP a thank you card at the very least.
He also told me that my FSH/AMH levels were fine (I’m hoping that’s still the case) and that my hormone levels don’t reflect PCOS even if my scan shows polycystic ovaries. However he thinks I’ve managed the PCOS by maintaining a good weight. That’s really motivated me to push on with Aviva Method and watching what I eat.
If my HSG test comes back fine, the plan is –
Clomid -> IUI -> IVF
The clomid in our circumstances is optional. We’re having problems with sex and so we might have to jump straight into IUI. It’s a lot to think about and work through.
If it doesn’t come back ok – which I’m worried about because my periods are scant which may mean I’m not shedding the lining and it has built up… well then I guess we’ll cross that path when we come to it.
I’m feeling positive. I’ll take the sunshine as a good omen.
Kun faya kun. I repeat those words to help keep faith.
I opened Pandora's box and infertility entered my life.
Fertility Doll 
Don’t google HSGs! I made that mistake and freaked out but it was over in less than 5 mins and I didn’t feel a thing. It was probably the least invasive procedure that I’ve had, even less than a date with dildo cam!
I am not a fan of Clomid. It made me crazy. IVF was easier emotionally than Clomid, for me anyway.
Wishing you lots of luck x
Thank you for the feedback on HSG and the luck. I sure need it! I’m telling myself that it sounds worse than it is.
I really don’t want to be on clomid but the Dr suggested 3 months instead of the usual 6 – I figured that’s a good compromise.
Yes I only did 3 months thankfully, that was long enough!!
:O I will keep faith!
Goodluck with everything sweetheart! Ps- is that Arabic you just wrote? It sounds out something we always say in Arabic so it confused me a little 🙂
Thank you 😀 Yes, it’s Arabic. “Be. And it is.” From the Quran – it’s a reminder for myself that some things just aren’t in my control and this is one of them.
Yes, it is also the one quote that has given me patience. I didn’t know you we’re Muslim- that’s awesome. I’ve been following you and your story, I will continue to pray for you and inshallah god will give us both what we have been praying for xoxo
And I will pray for you too. I pray for all of us going through this – I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Someone once gave me a chapter of duas for this. I should post those for you.
That said.. I do want to punch my Muslim girlfriends when they say that I should ‘pray more.’ 😡 I put the aggression down to hormone imbalance.
Hahaha well the funny thing is that in Islam….the tougher the road for you the more god is testing you and loves you…so I wouldn’t listen to them. The truth is, the easier your life is the more you will take god for granted and only focus on this life rather than the afterlife with praying and making duaa. I know it’s so hard, but believe me god is there watching and when you least expect it he will bless you with a miracle. You need people in your life that lift you up not make you feel that maybe you’re not doing enough. Every infertile knows how much we pray…and cry. It will be okay, I’m sure god is hearing every word you say and every feeling you feel xoxo
I hated clomid too but it is so much less invasive I guess it is worth a shot. We used 25mg with the menopur for iui which was not so bad. I am just so glad things are moving and shaking for you at last.
I’m not keen on the clomid – especially when the Dr mentioned the risk of ectopic pregnancy. I guess we’ll have to see what happens with it all. The more I want to control this process, the less I get to control it. Life seems to throw something else into the mix.
Going to pop over to your blog and do some catching up!
That sounds positive! Great job on keeping your PCOS at bay for the most part! I really didn’t mind Clomid. On a low dose, it can help you ovulate without much worry of causing any problems. IUI is a great idea for you guys! I know it’s a lot to take in and process, but this is another great step for you. I’m hopeful and excited for you! 🙂
Oh, my HSG was easy! I barely felt anything. 🙂 I hope things keep moving forward in a positive direction for you!!
Hi, I’m new to your blog but this post caught my eye. I also went through the NHS for fertility treatments and had the dreaded HSG; I just wanted to tell you not to worry, it is absolutely fine. You might want to take a couple of paracetamol half an hour beforehand though (hope that doesn’t sound too scary). I only did one month on Clomid, whilst waiting for IVF, as the doctors didn’t think that Clomid would help me much as I was ovulating on my own. Anyway, just wanted to stop by and wish you luck.
That’s really sweet of you to stop by and wish me luck. Thanks for the HSG reassurance – they mentioned painkillers and an antibiotic. I’m not so scared by it because I’ve had a cystoscopy before. That was awkward and painful