“You need to eat more.”
“Maybe you don’t really want a baby.”
I opened Pandora's box and infertility entered my life.
1) Adoption: Has been thrown in my face by a lot of friends. It hurts, because it makes me think my friends see me as incomplete.
2) You need to eat more : Wow.. Id kill for the day someone told me that. Its usually stop stuffing your face that I hear more.
3) Maybe you don’t really want a baby: Ive asked myself this honestly many times. After each miscarriage, I think, do I really want a baby that much?
4)I’ve faced : Almost everyone. and usually they make what they have faced much worse than what I am going through.
Sorry for late reply – head in work. I guess people just don’t get it unless they’re facing it. The adoption advice makes me want to punch the person who utters it.
My favorite: “Just relax.” If one more person tells me that, especially after I’ve had 1 surgery, 1 miscarriage, and spent hundreds of dollars each month on acupuncture, I might slap them!
I’ve been told to ‘Just go get drunk’ .. naturally I reply with ‘Do you realise how acidic alcohol is for the body?’ (Infertile who knows too much)
Funny/sad. I’ve heard most of those, or some variation. The kicker was when a colleague told me the ‘you can take my kids’ one. It was moments after learning about my second miscarriage, and she was all smiles as she said ‘next time you’re feeling maternal, you can feel free to babysit for me!’. I still want to punch that woman in the face when I think about that.
I want to punch her for you. I’m sorry that people are such jerks. I cringe when friends ask me to babysit for them. Sometimes I wonder if I’m isolating myself further from them by not embracing it but then I figure my mental health is more important than pleasing them.
I love people who, when you tell them you can’t get pregnant and are going down the road of IVF ask the question- “how long have you been trying for” as if you need to prove you really were a martyr and suffered long and hard before you are allowed explore other options ggggrrrrr.
Grrrring too. I find that the more time passes, the less people know what to say about it. Like it’s a really big awkward elephant in the room.
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Oh, what a power is motherhood, possessing
A potent spell. All women alike
Fight fiercely for a child.
~ Euripides, Iphigenia in Aulis, c. 405 B.C.
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