Just said no to Clomid.

I’m insane. Why did I just do that? I went in there thinking I’d take it but then my mouth said no. The DR then agreed with me, I don’t know if it was a slip of the tongue but he said IVF and I found myself walking out without a prescription. I said no because I’m ovulating by myself and because sex is difficult these days. I don’t want to pump myself with drugs only for sex to fail me.

Yet, I’ve come home and I feel like I’ve missed out.

I’m now thinking that maybe I should have given it a go. Now I have a six week wait, just to get a letter with an appointment date. Then I’ll have an appointment and if I’m lucky, treatment will start in 3-4 months.

The waiting in this journey never ends.

I feel like packing up all my books, the ovulation kit, the spare pregnancy tests, trashing my thermometer and deleting Fertility Friend (even though I only just downloaded it). I don’t want to find myself checking the letter box and counting down days.

I’ve endured enough. I’m so tired of being in this place. I’m tired of waiting. I’m tired of life being on hold.

I need a really good cry but the tears won’t come. Maybe, just maybe, I’m at that tipping point of letting go. Everything in me is saying ‘no more.. pack it all away and just let that appointment eventually come.’

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I opened Pandora's box and infertility entered my life.

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Posted in Dr Trips + Medical
25 comments on “Just said no to Clomid.
  1. knalani says:

    Oh no! I’m so sorry! 😦

  2. SM says:

    I tried Clomid even though I ovulate on my own. I hated it. I tried Femara after Clomid and it was like a night and day difference. I was so much more myself when I was on Femara instead of a raging hormone monster. I was on Femara (with Ovidrel trigger) when I got pregnant this time too.

  3. If it helps, I did 3 months on clomid, 1 failed IVF cycle & am having a day 5 transfer for IVF 2.0 today. Given my time again I’d skip Clomid. It was the worst experience of my entire life. I was on the lowest dose & yet it still sent me round the bend by the second month. X

    • Good luck for today!!! I hope it all goes well. Keeping my fingers crossed for you.

      I’m thankful for your feedback on Clomid. I’ve decided to take the summer off. If when I eventually see the specialists they want me to try it, I’ll do it but I don’t want to be emotionally crazier than I am right now. Lol!

      I should stop doubting my gut feelings.

  4. redbluebird says:

    Personally, I haven’t felt any side effects from Clomid. This is my second cycle on it (the lowest dose). Hasn’t gotten me pregnant though! Definitely only do what feels right to you.

    • I figured that right now, I’m probably not ready for it. It’s good to know it doesn’t make everyone crazy! I think they would have given me a low dose too. I was just worried about it messing up my cycles.

  5. theauthoress says:

    I was on clomid for five months even though the gynecologist never checked to see if it was actually doing anything. My ovaries were killing me. We got an appointment with the fertility specialist and two weeks ago I had a laparoscopy to check if I had endo… I did, though mild. Yesterday I had my post-op appointment and the specialist asked if we want to start the clomid right away. We said no. You have to go with what you think is best for you. We are going to try (and pray) … and if nothing happens, we will try clomid in a few months. But I couldn’t do it right now. Praying for peace in regards to your decision!

    • I’m sorry that you’re having to face endo, that must be so very hard to deal with. I have however read lots of positive stories from women suffering from it so I hope that as it’s mild it doesn’t hinder your chances. Here’s to your BFP appearing soon 🙂

      I read your post about prayer and being at peace. That’s my focus for the summer. I don’t think I can mentally deal with being in a state of chaos for any longer. I’m finally tired of feeling negative towards all of this… which is good.. maybe I’m moving on 🙂

      • theauthoress says:

        Praying for that peace of mind and for joy! In every moment and every day, may you find true contentment! Thank you for your well wishes! 🙂

  6. LisaB says:

    I’m so sorry hun! I feel your frustration. The waiting and wondering what to do next is torture. And when things just aren’t working, it’s even worse. Whatever you do, we’re here for you! Just do what you feel is best (and I know that’s not easy to figure out in the infertility world).
    I actually didn’t mind Clomid much, but perhaps it would be better paired with IUI. I always enjoyed my IUI cycles because it really took the pressure off of timed intercourse.
    Big hugs!!

  7. elaaisa says:

    I heard bad things about Clomid and stopped it after 4 cycles (but I’m not enough of an expert to help). Best of luck with the next steps!

    • How did you feel using it? What put you off from using it?

      • elaaisa says:

        I didn’t have many secondary effects from Clomid. It didn’t bother me. What put me off was mostly that I heard about the cancer consequences. And also more recently that it’s not good for PCOS since it leads to bad egg quality and thus doest work or dangerous multiple pregnancies.

  8. I also took clomid last year for 3 months yet it wasn’t help me to be pregnant. Last 2 months ago, i was also prescribed again of clomid, duphaston, lots of merional injections and also went HSG procedure yet it doesn’t help me to get pregnant. I have noticed the last
    2 months that I took clomid, I don’t ovulate. That’s what I have noticed. I’m so keen if I do have the discharge but I don’t have it. Last month I did not come back to my ob. I just want to have rest from all the meds.

  9. marwil says:

    I’d say go with your gut. If you feel it’s not going to help you, then don’t force yourself on it. I have no experience of clomid and have heard very different things about it. Best of luck with whatever you decide in the end. Either way, it looks like you are starting treatment/meds after the summer, no?

    • Yes and yet autumn/winter seems forever away. I’m an emotional bomb right now. I smiled so much when I saw your last post, I hope you’re keeping well and resting lots.

  10. TG says:

    Thank god, and good for you. Be done with it, and move on. I personally don’t understand why so many women stick with med-only cycles for so long when it has such a low success rate relative to IVF. If it’s affordable to you, then do it! And this summer is a GREAT time to focus on you, your health, and your relationship, because if you’re like most women, then IVF will bring you your baby, and you’ll want to have your ducks in a row. Don’t think about what you’re leaving behind (which obviously didn’t get you anywhere anyhow); focus on where you’re headed, because forward is where great things are going to happen for you!

    • This was such a lovely comment to read – thank you for leaving it. You couldn’t know how much I needed to read it! The part about having ducks in a row is so true, as is letting go of what hasn’t worked so far. When emotions hit, it’s hard to focus on what’s ahead but I know I really need to get my mind and body back in a good space.

      Thank you for the gentle kick 🙂

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