Recent BFP? Don’t feel guilty

Seeing those two pink lines must be the most amazing feeling ever but I can imagine that it’s equally as terrifying. When you’re going through infertility in the blogosphere, you tend to learn more about pregnancy and the risks more than the average fertile person would know. That’s why I’m saying to my recently pregnant blogger buddies, don’t feel guilty and don’t stop blogging. You made it to the other side but that doesn’t mean you’re worrying any less.

I know lots of women who get their BFPs wonder whether they should continue blogging and while yes it is hard for some of us to see the updates, we do have the option to look away or in some cases unfollow.

I’m guilty of unfollowing newly pregnant bloggers. With bloggers that I’m not close to or following as avidly, if I get hit with lots of baby updates, I do unfollow. It’s to protect myself. However, I have also continued to follow many who are/were pregnant.

At the end of the day, your blog is your space. Your outlet. Use it as you wish.


P.s I think 3 people in my feed announced pregnancies this week. Congrats to all of you!


I opened Pandora's box and infertility entered my life.

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Posted in Emotions + Coping
26 comments on “Recent BFP? Don’t feel guilty
  1. elaaisa says:

    Well said Fertility Doll. I’m totally with you. The lucky girls should not feel guilty!! And graceful announcement do make me smile and feel happy for news.

  2. Steph Mignon says:

    I’m sure all your BFP’d readers really appreciate this post! I’m not pregnant and I know I do because it mirrors my thoughts exactly. The whole point to many of our blogs is our quest to get pregnant, the fears don’t stop when we finally get there (for good reason I learned when I miscarried). My levels of happiness for those who get their BFP go like this:

    I’m extremely happy for you if you have NO children and finally, after a short or long bout with infertility, manage to get pregnant.

    I’m very happy for you if you already have a child and finally, after a short or long bout with infertility, manage to get pregnant.

    I’m slightly annoyed (not at you necessarily, but at God) if you haven’t struggled at all and get pregnant and easily conceive two children back to back, one of which is a girl due the month my miscarried baby girl would’ve been due.

    I’m very annoyed with you if you get pregnant two times by accident, terminate one, and finally keep the second (Mistakes happen, but twice?! C’mon!). Or if you have 5 baby daddies. Or if you use baby making as a way to get welfare. Or if you abuse your children.

    Wow, how’s that for a comment! Apparently I needed to get all of that out.

  3. […] with infertility in a funny, informative and moving way. Speaking of sweet I find that the post she wrote today on how bloggers who got a BFP should not feel guilty was just […]

  4. Another Bun says:

    Thanks for posting this. As a (very) recent BFP announcer, I definitely feel torn between opening up about my own feelings and risking hurting the feelings of others. It’s definitely true that you don’t stop worrying after the BFP… you just get a whole new set of worries. I certainly wouldn’t be offended if someone chose to stop reading my story. Thanks again… and I hope your two lines will be showing up soon!!

    • I’m glad it reassured you a little. Your pregnancy is one of the three I mentioned. Congratulations πŸ™‚ And here’s wishing you a healthy pregnancy going forward. x

  5. Peaches says:

    I wish I’d written this. Your words are perfect.

  6. marwil says:

    You are sweet. And I have felt the same way, and also unfollowed some when it got too much. You got to do what is best for you. Much love.

  7. This is lovely. It’s so hard to know what to say or do next. I am going to try to continue to blog, just need to find the right things to say and the right way to say them! X

  8. redbluebird says:

    This made me smile. I’m guilty of unfollowing newly pregnant bloggers myself. But like you, only ones I don’t “know” well. I have to keep blogging– this is way too stressful of a time to give up my therapy!

    • And there will be others going along that part of your journey with you. I always thought if I fell pregnant I would stop blogging but I’m not sure I would. Anyhow.. I know it’s easier said than done but.. chill out!!

  9. Thank you for this thought provoking, sensible and kind hearted post

  10. LisaB says:

    You are so thoughtful! I really liked seeing this post. xx

    • I should have written it sooner but it only occurred to me when I saw like 4 BFPs in one go and women thanking their followers for sticking by them through it all. Like they were scared of losing their support network.

  11. This is such a nice post to read. I felt the same though I know not everyone is in that place-which is totally okay. Like Bun, I want to keep blogging but I’m taking a few days rest to try to think about what I want to say and how to say it. So thank you!

    • I think the networks adjust – just looking at the comments section you can probably identify all the recent BFP bloggers and maybe if you don’t know all of them, it’s a chance to get to know them because you’re all going through the same thing right now. I think you’ll all know what to write and when to write it. You never forget your journey.

  12. damelapin says:

    Hi, I’ve just discovered your blog. I’m on the verge of beginning my 2nd round of IVF. And I plan to take a pic of those 2 pink lines when (not if, when!) i’ll get them. And make a poster fromΓΉ the picture. Hang it over our bed. Maybe not… ^^

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A potent spell. All women alike
Fight fiercely for a child.

~ Euripides, Iphigenia in Aulis, c. 405 B.C.

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