The NHS forgot me AGAIN – assisted fertility & hospital appointments

The title of this post says it all. I waited for six weeks (as I was told to), watched the postbox with the patience of a saint and yet the appointment to kick start this assisted fertility journey never arrived. So Mr Husband took charge and called them up. I get too stressed out having to deal with it. I end up an emotional mess.

He found out that the hospital ‘hadn’t received the fax from the clinic’ – fax machines flag when the send fails and the clinic would have noticed had it failed. Excuse me while I go scream. Apparently I wasn’t the only one who was forgotten – not sure if that makes me feel better or not.

Then on top of that I found out that I shouldn’t have been told I have to wait six weeks, it’s supposed to be two! I wanted to cry. I was visualising my cycles passing me by, week after week.  

The waiting is excruciating. I want to move forward with my life. The only way to cope with this all is to fill my days to the point where I don’t get time to think or reflect. That’s why I haven’t been blogging. 

So, I’m going to take a blogging break because there really isn’t much to report. 

No charting.

No being active like rabbits.

No peeing on sticks. 

No hope of a BFP right now. 


I opened Pandora's box and infertility entered my life.

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27 comments on “The NHS forgot me AGAIN – assisted fertility & hospital appointments
  1. barrenbetty says:

    Oh good grief, that is so annoying!!! I hate how slow everything is. The waiting is the worst bit. That makes me so mad they just didn’t refer you… How often must that happen?! Its just laziness. I bet they weren’t apologetic either! Man, I am furious for you. If it makes you feel better, after both my operations the NHS lost all of my notes so nobody knew what happened, and they had to track down the surgeon who tried to ‘remember’ Yeah, helpful that. I got my DH to call up then as well… I just can’t cope with the stress, I get all tearful and frustrated with them. Grr, I hope they sort it out ASAP xx

    • They really did that to you? That’s insane. I do feel sorry for NHS staff, not as if they have the greatest support from our government but now that they’ve done it twice I’m mad. I appreciate you being furious for me! It makes me worry about how crap the the care might be when I am having treatments with them but I think I just need a tougher and meaner exterior. x

      • barrenbetty says:

        Half the time I just think, if these people were working in a business they would have been on disciplinary or fired ages ago. Not everyone obviously, but I feel like there isn’t enough accountability sometimes… Like who was supposed to send your fax? I know how to fax, I know if it hasn’t sent, I’d check, I’d make sure my faxes arrived. It’s not rocket science!! I was devastated when they lost my notes but was just met with a sea of people shrugging their shoulders and telling me “they would turn up”. You need to work on thickening your skin up… You need to keep chasing until you get what you want!!

      • Very sound advice. I’ve probably been really naive thinking they’d operate like a business and things would go smoothly. I’ve now told Mr Husband that he’s project managing Project Daddy (playing to his ego).

        It really puzzles me how they could get away with treating you like that and dismiss you like that. It’s your health! Makes me mad.

      • barrenbetty says:

        They shouldn’t piss off infertiles… We are already pretty angry and on the edge!! (I am anyway). Great idea to outsource all the project management stress to hubs. I definitely recommend it, mine did an excellent job! xx

  2. Β. 'Ατακτη says:

    That’s a bummer….but….perhaps it was all meant to lead you to a ‘break’ and regroup. Btw, the aviva steps will boost up your happy hormone to keep your smile! Chin up, aviva-buddy!

    • I know, I keep thinking that. It’s AF week – Aviva time tomorrow morn \o/ yay!

      • Β. 'Ατακτη says:

        Sorry to ask that silly qst: what is AF?
        I’m practising twice a week no matter what day of the cycle I’m at or am I doing it wrong???

      • AF = Aunt flow = Period. No you’re not doing it wrong 🙂 I just do it a few days beige period is due to bring it on.

      • Β. 'Ατακτη says:

        Right, got it. These exercises brought on a nice AF this month for me, painless, PMS-less! (Ha, I know some abbreviations too…)😉
        Enjoy the weekend

  3. Steph Mignon says:

    Why can’t anyone just do their jobs? Time and time again I’m disappointed by administrators in ALL industries, but it’s even worse when it relates to fertility. I’m with you on taking a break… mine is coming soon and I’m excited to have nothing but non-fertility related things to report!

    • The rage has calmed down today. I didn’t think to blog about ‘the break’ and all the non-fertility related stuff but in truth it’s still all part of the journey so maybe I should. I just read your blog post. I’m joining you too!

  4. I’m so sorry for the run around! People on the other side of this do not get how excruciatingly painful any type of waiting is when you want to proceed with your life. I hate how so much time was wasted for you, but it’s not your fault–you were simply doing as you were told and waited. I’m not sure what the NHS is, but I sure hope they get their act together soon.

    • The NHS is the UK public healthcare system. It is brilliant (sometimes) and I do appreciate the professionals. I just think they’re stretched and as a result it’s easy to fall off their radar. I don’t want to go private just yet so I need to suck it up and get thicker skinned.

      I’m holding onto lots of positive thoughts for you. The picture of the tree was sooo beautiful. I’d like to picture my uterus in that way.

  5. knalani says:

    I’m so sorry! That must be incredibly frustrating!

  6. Baby Hopeful says:

    So sorry, what a mess. The waiting is horrible at the best of times, never mind when you’ve been forgotten. We had some terrible experiences with NHS. It got to the point where they didn’t want to know, even though we’d been ttc over 2 years and 2 miscarriages, low sperm morphology and AMH levels. But because we’d been pregnant we weren’t infertile (had to have 3 miscarriages first). We’re going private now. It’s expensive, but luckily we have parents on board ready to help us out.

    • I’ve been thinking about going private abroad. I’m in the same boat as you – parents willing to help – but I thought I’d exhaust the NHS option first. I think it’s so unfair that they treated you that way. It makes me wonder who makes the rules and sets the definitions of who deserves help. I hope you have lots of success being seen private and that you soon experience a beautiful and healthy pregnancy.

  7. damelapin says:

    Oh my, I can’t believe “professional” can forget someone, or say “6 weeks” instead of 2, seriously…
    Try to take care of you during your vacations, in order to “attack” it at your comeback 😉

  8. marwil says:

    Unbelievable! how frustrating. It took forever for us to get the initial fertility investigation done completely through the NHS… I think it was about eight months which was much longer than I expected. But to be forgotten like this is just shitty. So sorry it had to happen to you. it takes so much energy already.

    • My investigations started when I started blogging – a year or so ago. It’s insanely slow. I’m trying to take a zen approach to things by telling myself that this is all happening at the timescale it’s supposed to happen in. By the time I do get seen, I’ll be settled in my job, financially in a better place, my health will be better (if I stop eating so much sugar) and hopefully some 30s maturity will kick in.

      P.s Happy 12 weeks! Yay! 😉 ❤ x

  9. LisaB says:

    UGH!!!! This makes me so angry and frustrated for you!! I’m so sorry. 😦 That is such bull$it!

    • Is pregnant lady rage more intense than normal lady rage because of hormones? I should put you on the phone to them! It is such bullshit but I shall breathe…. and persevere. Mr Husband is now on Project Daddy and is going to be relentless in helping us to get this journey moving.

      • LisaB says:

        It is a bit different! I would love to give them a piece of my mind! Keep on fighting hun. I’m glad your hubby is in the fight, as well. I pray it all gets sorted out soon.

  10. elaaisa says:

    Sorry to hear about the problems with the NHS. Sending you a big hug!

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