Assisted fertility, NHS and all that jazz continued..

NHS assisted fertility referral

We finally received the documents that they wanted us to fill in. A list of three items that we had to complete and return to them within 7 days. If we failed to return them in 7 days then our referral would be cancelled. I find that crazy. It’s taken me 2 years to get to this far and I could lose my place if the Royal Mail messed up or if I was unable to answer their questions in time.

One of the three items was a referral form that our referrer needed to fill in. I was so puzzled by this. Surely I had just been referred? They wanted information that would have been sent to them already – from blood tests to HSG scans. I was so livid. I remember my blood boiling from the frustration. I was a cat being forced to chase my own tail. It was not a nice feeling.

So Mr Husband embraced Project Baby and told me he’d pay the hospital a visit to clarify why they needed us to go chase the referrer again. The next day as we parted ways on our way to work, I said to him ‘Now you make sure you make some heads roll when you see them!’ He called me later to tell me that the woman at the desk said ‘Oh you don’t need to fill that in. I really should remove it from future letters.’ Seriously? Mr Husband made a point of telling her that sending couples forms like these with a 7 day deadline when the forms aren’t even needed puts couples through unnecessary stress. It’s a good thing he went and not me because my words would have been ‘It’s stupid, inefficient and makes you all come across as incompetent!’

On a positive note, Mr Husband found the team at the unit really ‘helpful, soft and attentive’.. his words not mine. Rainbow after the rain?

Now we wait.. again.. for that ever elusive appointment.

Managing my own expectations

I could get angry at the staff but it’s not their fault totally and I do see it as a general problem with the NHS system. I read that a kid who was going to have surgery so he could walk was denied the treatment last minute. My heart broke for him. Surely that’s his basic human right as a child? Healthcare. Now his parents are raising £20,000. It’s not the first time I’ve read a story like his. It’s grounding because it made me wake up to the fact that I’m just one of many people seeking the miracle of science and medicine. The NHS are s*** at times but it could be a whole lot worse. I could have zero options.

Lesson from this experience? You have to be relentless, expect the worst and always double check things. Emotions cannot get in the way. If they do, you’ll feel like this..

Girl running into wall

I opened Pandora's box and infertility entered my life.

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Posted in Assisted Fertility
5 comments on “Assisted fertility, NHS and all that jazz continued..
  1. redbluebird says:

    Oh no, that poor kid with the running into the wall! Ha ha ha.
    Sooo frustrating… I hope everything gets sorted out soon.

  2. Hey girl how are you doing? Been thinking of you a lot and wondering how you’re holding up! Keep me updated xo

    • Aww it’s sweet to know I’m in your thoughts. I’ve been keeping myself distracted with work and family. The journey continues to be testing but I’m trying to remain grounded instead of being a chaotic mess. I can’t force God’s hand.

      I’m so excited that you’re having a girl! Girls and boys are great but since I have mainly nephews I kinda hope for girls. Most of my friends have girls and they’re all super cute. I saw my friend’s 2 yr old daughter last night, she offered me tea and toast (plastic toy version). She’s so incredibly gorgeous with her naughty smile and curly locks. InshaAllah you have so much to look forward to. x

      • Keep that head up high girl! I know it’s so unbelievably difficult, everytime I think of you I praise you thinking how strong you are to be dealing with it all- and the truth is we have no option but to be strong! Don’t test your faith, inshallah what is best meant for you will come out of nowhere! Those are the best ones too.
        And that’s so cute! Love girls, an to be honest I’m so excited to be having one. Both are a blessing either way, but sometimes boys can be so egotistical when they are the first child! ESP in our cultures! Lol

  3. It can be such a frustrating process and it is important to stay positive. By sharing your experiences with others you are really able let them know that they aren’t alone in their worries. Best of luck with your treatment, I look forward to reading more about your journey.

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