How did you feel waiting between IVF cycles? Since November I’ve been spinning in space, I can’t find happiness in anything and I’ve even failed at #100happydays. I have an interesting life filled with opportunities – what is wrong with me?
Just before Christmas, I decided to focus on cleaning up my diet (failed IVF depression = copious amount of cake) and started a nutritional plan. I figured acting on something might make me feel more in control. It hasn’t. Initially the diet seemed to be working really well. More EWCM, strong period and less lethargy but the past month hasn’t been great. My scanty period became more scant and brown – in Chinese medicine it’s a sign of stagnation. At first, I wondered if it was because the diet is pretty strict and maybe I wasn’t nourishing myself enough but my food plan proves that I do eat enough. Then I realised that my mind really isn’t on board with this all. My mind is stagnant.
- I am frustrated because all my efforts seem futile
- I can’t imagine falling pregnant and I’m too scared to believe I’ll ever get to see two beautiful pink lines because it hasn’t happened in all these years.. why would it happen now?
- I am terrified of spring and the next IVF round because the last was so awful. I don’t know how I’m going to cope with a BFN.
So, I’m making an appointment with hypnotherapist in hope that she’ll help me believe I’m as fertile as Snookie.. Katie Price.. and Kerry Katona.