Updated Jan 2014
A little about me..
I’m sliding into my 30s and married to a beautiful man. I call him Super Man
Mr.Husband on this blog. We have beastly cats, a small earthly home in the UK and live a simple yet wonderful life. After many years of marriage, I opened Pandora’s box and infertility entered my life. In May 2012, I decided to start blogging about it because I needed a group of women and men who understood how distressing this process is. I’ve been lucky enough to find them and even luckier to see many of them make it across to other side.
Where I am in this journey..
Five Six years. Zero positives.
I’ve never seen a pregnancy test turn positive. I think that’s what hurts most. I think I may have conceived once in 2012 but it was lost far too early to be confirmed.
The journey has been something like this..
Told to ‘just have more sex’ –> Denial –> Stress –> Prolactin Issues –> Scant Periods –> Discovery of Polycystic Ovaries –> Hormone Tests –> A phase of becoming obsessive with Pee Sticks & Temp Charting –> Metformin (didn’t work) –> Husband faces issues with pressure & erectile dysfunction –> HyCoSy (all clear) –> Hellish waiting on the NHS –> Go back to work for my own sanity –> Boom get fast tracked to IVF cycle –> IVF cycle is a nightmare since only 3 out of 12 eggs fertilised and it fails.
All the stuff I’m doing to help it..
When I started this blog I was finishing up my job and planning to take some time off to slow down. It was the hardest yet the best thing I could for my body at the time. I went through a long period of processing the disappointments and the anger. Slowly I began to lose my self-esteem and other trying to conceive issues took over, so I sent myself back to work.
I blog about my relationship with myself, with Super Man and God. I blog about pain and hope. I blog hoping for change. I want to share what I learn along the way and to stop my mind from falling into a state of madness.I read and comment as much as I write. I like to not feel so alone on this journey, so do please say hello.
If you do think you might know me in real life.. ssshh.. this is my space to face these demons and I’d appreciate a bit of understanding.
Fertility Doll was inspired by a trip to Paris, where I joked with a friend that I ought to rub up against the fertility statues in the Louvre. It’s also because I feel like a fertility doll – people keep falling pregnant around me (how dare they??)