Last night I spent most of my time awake and clutching my stomach. I’m getting pains whenever I need to pee. The cramps are cruel. Throbbing like AF. I cried just before I left for work because I feel unable to cope with all of this right now. It’s like the end is creeping up on me.
The cramps made me turn back half way to work, there was no way that on the commute home I’d be able to stand and hold a bag. I’m now sitting at home feeling depressed and I can’t face my work.
In the middle of the night I tested on a Clear Blue digital, my hcg should at the very least be 2000 by now which should trigger 3+. It showed 2-3.
I can’t cope, so I called the doctor and asked him to move my scan to tomorrow morning instead of Thursday. I really want to be positive but I don’t have a good feeling about this.
Even if a pregnancy isn’t viable, it’s so hard to say goodbye when you’ve spent over 6 years working for it.
Just 😦
I opened Pandora's box and infertility entered my life.
Fertility Doll 
Ugh. I am so sorry. I’d say not to read too much into the test, but it’s pry better to go into the scan knowing what you know. Nothing worse than being completely blind-sided. I’ll hope for the best for you tomorrow. Having been there, I know there really isn’t much anyone can say to get you through to tomorrow. Just flat out blows.
This is so tough and I am so sorry that you’re going through it. I was heartbroken during my chemical pregnancy and there is no way to describe it appropriately if one hadn’t gone through it. It IS hard to say good bye…. Sending you hugs and hope and strength. ❤
The waiting and unknowns/uncertainty are so unbearable. I’m glad they were able to move up your scan. Sending you hugs.
I just wish I could come up and give you a big hug and bring over lots of ice cream and chocolate. Glad you’re going in for the scan tomorrow. After so much work, time and waiting, it is really really hard to say goodbye.. sending you lots of love and strength. xx
I’m so sorry. I wish I could do something to make this easier for you. Fingers crossed it’s still going ok in there
I’m sorry, FD. I can only imaging how hard it is after trying for so long. I have no good words for you, but I will be thinking of you.
😦 I’m glad you’re having an earlier scan. All this waiting and worrying is torturous. Sending you lots and lots of love xxxxx
Oh honey, there are no words. I am thinking of you and sending lots of love.
Sweetie , i wont give false hopes but early pregnancy does come with AF like cramps. Dont say bye before its all over. Faith had got you so far, it will take you beyond. I am sorry this is not easy on you and totally not needed right now.
Thinking of you… XOXO
Hope everything works out for you xx
Sending you voodoo vibes to help pass the time quickly – waiting is so awful. I hope you get good good news tomorrow.
Oh hon, glad the scan has been moved for you. Hoping so much for you, so sorry you have to go through this xx
Sending you strength, love and light!
Praying for you RIGHT now!!! Xo
So glad that you’re getting an earlier scan… Any answer would surely be better than being in limbo like this. Thinking of you and sending you loads and loads of love xxx
Sending lots of positive energy your way. Hugs!
I so want this to work out!! Xox
Oh I am so sorry! I’m glad the scan is moved up and you’ll have answers soon. I wouldn’t have been able to wait either. Thinking of you!!!!!
I’m thinking of you. xxx
Praying for you.
I’m so, so sorry. Sending strength xxx
Thinking about you. Hope you are ok.
😭😭😭 have faith that what is best will happen. Allah Kareem…praying for you and the little one ❤️
Thinking of you right now and sending hugs
I know that you’re taking a break from blogging at the moment but I just wanted you to know that I’m thinking of you everyday x
Oh FD, I feel your pain. I’m in the same boat, after many long years, no positives at all. I’m just over my FET BFN and I am feeling lost and abandoned. I’m so sorry and will be here reading. Reach out anytime – http://www.wishingawayinfertility.blogspot.com
xo,
Weylin
How are you now Fertility Doll? I fear you are laying low, sending you love, even though I do not know you x
Hey Doll, wondering about you. XO
Hey, I’m so sorry you had to go through all this. Just wanted to check in and say that I’m thinking of you xx
Assalmualikum, I hope you are doing well. During the last minutes of my fast today I happened upon your blog looking for a dua for infertility. Reading your story has made me realize how many of us are going through some form of the same thing. I hope to Allah you are doing well and that things have turned for the better for you.
I pray you get your heart desire, that you become a mother soon. i hope to read new posts from you sometime, that you feel upt o posting soon and have good news to share soon, insha Allah
Still thinking of you lady. Still sending you love.
Thought of you today. Miss you around here. Hope all is well friend. xo
Thought of you today and hope that you are on the mend. Hang in there, FD.